Comin’ up Milhouse

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on February 7, 2009 by Nanette

Suddenly, everything’s coming up Milhouse. I landed a job! And it’s a good one! I’ve been on cloud nine for days, celebratory hangover and all.

Fuck you, Internet.

Fuck you, Internet.

I’m designing and writing teaching materials for an e-learning company. The people are nice, the atmosphere is relaxed and the staff cafeteria does a mean coffee. It’s near-as-dammit just what I was looking for, and in the nick of time too. Rent is due, my wages are still missing and the cat’s medical bills  skyrocketed after she had a damn seizure Sunday night.

It feels wonderful to get just what you need.


It never rains…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on January 30, 2009 by Nanette

In the same week that my boss ran off with my damn wages, my fabulously evil cat has run off with my savings. Or she would have, if I had any. There’s been a terrible heatwave in the city these past few days, which I’ve been attempting to deal with via cold showers and napping, rather than spending rent-and-beer money on a decent fan.

This is what happen when you Google the phrase 'hot cat'. Probably should have seen that coming.

This is what happens when you Google the phrase 'hot cat'. Probably should have seen that coming.

Long story short, the result of my false-economizing was a bad case of feline heatstroke, a trip via public transport to the emergency vet and a $500 bill. Seems I am a bad owner AND a poor economist.  On the upside, at least my cat is safe and cool at the clinic tonight, with air con, ice packs and a fluid drip. Kind of wish I’d checked myself in at the same time.

When I got back from the vet, I had a brief message waiting from my missing boss, promising to ‘work things out’ with me next week.  One is not exactly flooded with confidence.

Dastardly deeds

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on January 29, 2009 by Nanette

My part time boss has disappeared, taking with him my job and at least six weeks worth of unpaid wages. Yes, I waited six weeks before putting my foot down and demanding payment. What an ass.

I’ve been calling him for days, and he’s not picking up. I emailed last night to tell him that I won’t be writing any more material until I’m paid, and there’s been no reply. Either he is dead (in which case I will feel bad for repeatedly calling him a donkeyfucker) or he’s done a runner. This would be terrible at any time, but especially now. That rat bastard was my only source of income.

My boss.

My boss.

On a lighter note, I had a job interview yesterday and I think it went well. Fingers, toes and eyes crossed for a proper job!

The Unemployment Diaries: Day 8

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on January 14, 2009 by Nanette

Jobs applied for to date: Nine.

Replies received: Nil.

Promises: Numerous, extravagant.

Rent was due: Today.

Toenails: Hot pink with rainbow glitter.

The Mighty Boosh: Season One in a single sitting.

Worst thing I’ve cooked: Haloumi sushi.

Today I wrote an article about: Brendan Fraser.

That's this guy.

That's this guy.

The Unemployment Diaries: Day 3

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on January 7, 2009 by Nanette

I got fired from my day job. It wasn’t much of a surprise; in fact, I probably deserved it, although I do think it was a little harsh of them to fire me the day before the holidays. I mean, the whole world shuts down over the holidays – how is a person supposed to find a badly paid, soul-crushing job at Christmas?

Anyway, today marks my third day of proper unemployment – all the good people of the world have gone back to their jobs, leaving only junkies, old people and writers to wander the streets by daylight.

I’m not strictly unemployed, yet. I still have my part time gig as a movie reviewer and news-recycling unit to fall back on, although sadly it only pays enough to cover half my rent each week. I’ve a meeting with my boss at the site tomorrow – he says he wants to have a “chat”, and I don’t know whether that means good news (more work!) or bad news (you’re double-fired). I haven’t seen the guy in about three months – he could have absolutely anything up his sleeve. Maybe he just wants to tell me about his sex-reassignment surgery. That would at least explain where he’s been all this time.

Anyway, unemployment is boring. It’s almost as boring as working. I’ve been applying for plenty of jobs, and writing the odd article for the site, but apart from that it’s all just sleeping and fretting about money.

Allow me to break it down in list form.

Unemployment highlights:

Sleeping late.

Afternoon naps.

Walking out to the mailbox in your pajamas.

Unemployment lowlights:

Finding oneself torn between buying medicine and buying beer (beer won).

Baked beans every day.

If I had a yard, and I chose to put the contents of my kitchen in the yard for some reason, it would look like this.

If I had a yard, and I chose to put the contents of my kitchen in the yard for some reason, it would look like this. But smaller.

A joke

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on December 16, 2008 by Nanette

One day the he-boss at my office job announced that he had heard a good joke.

Q. What do you call a hot Lebanese girl?

A. As-if!

Hilarity ensued! And by hilarity I mean I stabbed myself in the leg with my pencil.

My boss.

My boss.

First strike

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on December 15, 2008 by Nanette

Today I received a formal warning for being crap at my day job. A week ago, at my three-month review, the lady-boss said that I was doing OK, but something peculiar seems to have happened since then.

With only a couple hundred dollars in the bank, and no eligibility for the dole, being fired is just too frightening to contemplate. So praise the Lord for cheap red wine! Tonight, I’m drinking while I work.

The Lord's work.

The Lord's work.